Thursday, 26 May 2016

Locked away! - My short story.

Blog Post Title - My Short Story

For this piece of writing I have focusing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to:

  • use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning (Year ⅞)
  • use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation (eg semicolons, colons, parentheses) (Year 7/8)

The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal

My Story...
 Locked Away            12/5/2016

“Freeze!” I hear a voice whisper. Oh no, they’ve got me! I think, I side step and run out of the bank. I see my bicycle, I jump on it and throw the money bag over my shoulder, I start pedaling. I hear sirens behind me so i pedal faster. I make out a brick wall up ahead, i can’t go left or right, i’m gonna CRASH! I can’t stop my bike because it’s going too fast! Everything goes black…

I wake up. My alarm clock’s going off. I look at the time, 8;45? “I’m going to be late for school!” I jump outta bed and run to the front door. I forgot to change my clothes. I run back inside, get changed, do my hair and say goodbye to my sister and mum. By this time it’s 8:50. I hurdle onto my scooter and go zooming down the street. Just as i get the school into view, the bell rings. “ Oh No! “ I slow down on my scooter, our teacher calls the roll at exactly 9am, i’d never make it!

I make my way into school grounds. Children are staring out of their classroom windows at me, I feel… Embarassed! A senior, like me trudging into school, five minutes over the bell. I drag my feet into class and get sent to the office to tell them i’m here. My excuse was i “ slept in “.

At morning Tea I sit down at a cafetaria table and wait for my friends. Katey and Isabella strolled into the room with big grins on their faces. As soon as they spotted me, they ran over. “ We got black belts in karate class!”. They were jumping up and down in excitement. “ Great! “ I say sarcasticlly. My eyes fall upon the golden badge saying ‘ black belt ‘Katey is wearing. They stared at me, the grins got swiped off their faces. “ What’s not precise? “ Isabella said. I show them the big red stamp on my hand. “ LATE “. “ Again? Seriously? Make your alarm clock louder!” Katey giggled.

It’s the third time this week…” I say, annoyed and sleepy.” they’re gonna call my parents”. “ oh, that’s not good!” Isabella shouted. Everyone in the cafetaria glare at us. “ Oops! “ She said quietly. Katey stood up, “ just carry on what you’re doing everything fine!” then she turns to us, and sits back down.” Is that better?” she murmurs. I slap my face…


Yes! I say to myself. Almost the end of school! I need to get out of this place as soon as i can. Mr. whiskers ( my cat ) will be lonely. “ RING RING RING! “ “ YES!!!!! “ I scream. “ Emma, the is not acceptable behaviour. “ My teacher blabbers on. “ you will stay behind and write lines! Let’s make that, 100 lines! “ “ NOOO! I mean… Yay? “

I turn around and look at my friends as they exit the classroom like everyone else. ( accept me ) “ bye..” I silently mouth words. “ C U @ 4 “
Minutes passed as I sat there staring at my piece of A4 paper in front of me. “ okay. Let’s do this… “ 100 lines saying “ i will not shout in class “ ok. I’ve got this! 30 minutes later and i’m finished. One-hundred lines, not too bad. Doesn’t take long at all.

I raise my head from the piece of paper. My teacher is not there. Where did he go? I wonder. I get up from my seat, put my sheet of paper on his desk and walk out of the room. I peek down the halls… No teacher, student or friend in sight. I look at the clock. 3:45. Hmm… Well the office lady should still be here! So I head down the corridor, to the front doors, then, my confusion takes over me. Maybe, i’m alone, maybe no one’s here, maybe i’ll be stuck here till dawn!

I check the office, doors locked. They must have had to go home for some reason, they’ve packed up and left. When i start walking away from the doors, Bam, Boom, Bam! Someone is trying to get in! I run into the next room and hide. by this time I start worrying. I check all doors and windows. All of them either sealed, don’t open further enough to fit through or they are open but just lead you into another room with locked doors and windows! I feel like i’m in that dream i had last night, in jail with bars around me, no way to get in or out. Maybe this is a dream!

JUST THEN! I heard crackling sounds above me as if someone was in the ceiling. I back into a corner of the room and crouch down. I tried hiding behind a bin but it was either my leg or arm sticking out so it wouldn’t work!
Crack, Crackle, Crack. It was getting closer, what ever it was. If only i had never shouted in class, then none of this would have ever happened. Owe Mr.whiskers, I miss you! I wish i was at home, cuddled up on the couch-


A vent exploded beside me, the top of the vent shot up, hit the ceiling and came back down again making a horrible shattering sound that echoed around the room. Katey, Isabella and… MR. WHISKERS ( ! ) climbed out of the vent. “ MEEOOWWW “ Mr. whiskers hopped into my arms. Isabella and Katey hugged me. What relief, “i’m saved!” I say. “ But how’d you find me? “ I question. “ Well “ said Katey. “ That’s a long, i mean middle sized story. You see, we went to your house, your mum said you weren’t home yet. So we sat with Mr. whiskers on your bed, (it’s very comfortable by the way) and waited. A while after we decided that something might have happened, so we reversed the footsteps you would’ve taken from school, and followed them to school.”

“ Actually Mr. whiskers led us here, and we had trouble getting through the doors, so we used the vent systems Mr. whiskers sniffed you out, which led us to this vent opening “ Katey pointed to the vent that had just exploded, scaring the life out of me. “ We tried opening the vent quietly, that didn’t work so, with Isabella and my karate kicks, we kicked it open and hopped out!  Amazing you were right beside us, eh? “ “ y-yes” I say, i’m still shivering from the out-burst of the vent. “ B-but I S-s-still don’t u-understand wh-why the teacher wasn’t there when i f-finished my lines!” “ Didn’t he leave a note or something? “ they got up and sprinted to the classroom, me jogging behind… Somehow….. On my desk, was the little note.

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